I’ve been sugar’s slave.
Sugar addiction is the only way to attempt to describe my illogical, compulsive, insane, co-dependency with sugar and sweet foods.
I have always had a gaping, inborn weakness for high-carb foods, particularly sugar, sweets, and dessert. These foods used to draw me like a supermagnet. Just a little bite of sugar/sweet food sparked a glorious transformation: it perked my mood, told me the sweet bliss never, ever had to end. Except that it always did end (and too soon).
Which is when Sugar Bot — the frighteningly deformed, insane sugar addiction inside me — always stepped up.
MY SUGAR BOT
Just a lick, taste, or bite of sugar/sweet food flips Sugar Bot’s “on” switch, unleashing his full sugar/sweet insanity. He has just one programmed response to sugar/sweet foods: “FIND-AND-EAT-ALL-THE-SUGARZ.”
Once activated, Sugar Bot is unstoppable: he can override my body and brain. He will seize all priority and energy and direct it to getting more sugar/sweet foods. His detection sensor is state-of-the-art. It picks up desserts, candy, chocolate, packaged snacks, ice cream, donuts, frozen treats, spoonfuls–make that cups–of plain brown/white sugar, honey, maple syrup. The sensor also goes off for starchy carbs (which breakdown very quickly into sugar in the bloodstream and provide the same quick spike of bliss) like fruits, baked goods, breads, pastas, crackers, granola, cereals, pasta, bread, crackers. Long ago, Sugar Bot blew up my “stop” buttons for these foods.
I absolutely can’t stop eating sugar/sweets once I start. And I absolutely can’t stop from starting.
I can’t have “just one” 2×2 brownie square. A 4×4 square won’t be enough, either. You might as well hand over that whole pan, and line up another with a side of cookies, donuts, candy bars, and ice cream.
“Just throw it away,” you say? I’ve taken it out of the trash and eaten it.
“Start the car, run it over in the street,” you say? I’d scrape it off the ground and tires and eat it. And keep the car running, because I’ll need to get more when it’s gone.
Trust me, this is NOT something I’m proud of. Honestly, I’m ashamed. But it’s my turth, and I suspect, the truth of others like me.
Just a taste of sweet triggers cravings in my mind and body, sending Sugar Bot on a rampage for more. I know from every past experience that one bite leads to a landslide, a binge, the highs and lows of a very real withdrawal, food hangover, and an obsession of the mind for how to get and eat more, more, more. My Sugar Bot is relentless. Too much is never enough; he will always need more.
FREE FROM SUGAR BOT
I refuse to be Sugar Bot’s slave any longer.
I wish I could tell you I was able to destroy Sugar Bot forever. But I can’t. For better or worse, Sugar Bot is a design flaw seared into my biological and chemical makeup. He will always be there, and I have come to accept that. What’s changed is me.
I’m able to keep Sugar Bot down and deactivated. The best way I’ve been able to do this is to learn how to identify and avoid the trigger sugar/sweet foods that activate and fuel him. Today, I intentionally avoid Sugar Bot’s trigger foods and am gratefully free of his slavery.
What’s more, I can hardly begin to tell you the incredible things that have happened since I put down the sugar/sweet foods. I have a life. I have time. I have energy. I pursued a new career (in holistic nutrition!), started my own business, found true love and got married, experienced the fullness of inner peace, came to a new understanding of others, rehauled my thoughts and reactions, revamped my happiness, and took back my bodily health in ways previously unimaginable.
And yes, I’m free from the excess weight (in body and mind).
I’ve seen the same happen in countless others like me.
It can happen for you, too.
DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SUGAR?
If you think you might have a Sugar Bot of your own, you may be able to answer “yes” to several of these questions:
- Do I eat (sugar/sweets) when I’m not hungry, or not eat when my body needs nourishment?
- Do I go on (sugar/sweet) eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until I’m stuffed or even feel sick?
- Do I have feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment about my weight or the way I eat (sugar/sweets)?
- Do I eat (sugar/sweets) sensibly in front of others and then make up for it when I am alone?
- Is my (sugar/sweet) eating affecting my health or the way I live my life?
- When my emotions are intense—whether positive or negative—do I find myself reaching for (sugar/sweet) food?
- Do my (sugar/sweet) eating behaviors make me or others unhappy?
- Have I ever used laxatives, vomiting, diuretics, excessive exercise, diet pills, shots or other medical interventions (including surgery) to try to control my weight?
- Do I fast or severely restrict my food intake to control my weight?
- Do I fantasize about how much better life would be if I were a different size or weight?
- Do I need to chew or have something (sugar/sweet) in my mouth all the time: food, gum, mints, candies or beverages?
- Have I ever eaten (sugar/sweet) food that is burned, frozen or spoiled; from containers in the grocery store; or out of the garbage?
- Are there certain (sugar/sweet) foods I can’t stop eating after having the first bite?
- Have I lost weight with a diet or “period of control” only to be followed by bouts of uncontrolled (sugar/sweet) eating and/or weight gain?
- Do I spend too much time thinking about (sugar/sweet) food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning the next diet or exercise cure, or counting calories?
(Questions adapted from www.oa.org for general information purposes only and are not an official endorsement or representation of the organization, nor a replacement for medical or psychiatric advice, treatment or diagnosis.)
You don’t have to be sugar’s slave.
Laura Carr is a recovering bulimic and addict. Since joining the ranks of the recovered, Laura has found her vocation in holistic nutrition services for women’s health. She addresses a broad spectrum of women’s health issues that often accompany addiction — concerns such as food, fertility, hormones, weight, energy and more with her gentle, naturally healing protocols and therapies. Laura is a certified Nutritional Therapy Practitioner (NTP) also trained in natural family planning and wellness yoga. Helping women reclaim their optimal health, fertility, and life vitality is Laura’s deep passion and life mission.
Follow her free health posts and learn more about how Laura can help at www.greenerFarmacy.com and www.facebook.com/greenerfarmacy or contact her at laura@greenerFarmacy.com.